BEWARE OF ZOMBIES

Mimi Lunde

Senate bill #142 is by Samuel Viall and is about establishing a disaster education and advertising program. Section 1 states that “A program will be instituted in order to educate any willing adult citizen in the necessary fields of survival in the case of spontaneous corpse reanimation cataclysm, zombie apocalypse.” The sponsor of the bill, Cody Cavill, introduced the bill to the committee. “Education is the root of everything,” Cavill presented interesting points about the bill. As the author of the bill, Samuel Viall gave a very convincing speech for the committee to vote “do pass”. During discussion of the bill the committee members asked Cavill about the importance of the bill. He responded, “If people want to be prepared. It’s available to them.” The bill passed committee with a vote of 7-3. As sponsor, Levi Krutzfeldt introduced senate bill #143, which is an act to “implement exercises to enhance the ability of the Montana National Guard to protect Montana against an incursion of the undead.” Section 3 requires that all soldiers must play Xbox Call of Duty Zombies at least one hour per week in order to develop the correct mindset for zombie combat. He spoke about the signifi cance of the bill for human protection and awareness against zombies. “If passed, this bill will save thousands of human lives,” Krutzfeldt stated in his opening speech. As a proponent, Samuel Viall exclaimed that it is “necessary to prepare for this cataclysm/apocalypse that is coming.” During discussion of the bill the committee members asked about the soldiers only having the option of playing on an Xbox. Krutzfeldt responded that a PS3 or other gaming devices could be used as well, and that it could be a possible amendment to the bill. The committee made amendments to the bill, changing the gaming devices to Xbox and a PS3, and changing the training hours from 1 hour per week to 5, condensing both on the same line of the bill. Unfortunately, the bill failed committee with a vote of 3-6. Cody Cavill is the author of senate bill #145, which is an act to require Montana law to develop and implement extensive disaster training program (EDTP). The program is designed to equip Montana State employees with special training in specifi c and very important areas, and the program is designed to gradually become self-suffi cient. Although Cavill was not present for discussion on his bill, a volunteer spoke to the committee about the bill instead. As a proponent of the bill, Samuel Viall tried to persuade the committee to vote for the bill, “I will defend it till death!” During committee discussion, the members of the committee asked Viall how zombies could be killed most efficiently, and if the death would differ from human beings. Viall explained that death of zombies is completely different from humans. “Zombies have a completely different corpse that will react to actions much differently than humans, therefore the training is necessary.” The committee questioned the existence theory as a whole, and if the bill would ensure an appropriate approach to training. One member in particular was a very strong opponent to the bill. Unfortunately the bill failed committee with a vote of 4-5. Rollie Goodman is the author of senate bill #279. The bill is an act to create zombie attack shelters, which will be built and maintained in every city open to the public. The shelters will be stocked with supplies; each with its own generator and some may have extra features depending on certain factors. The shelters will be useful during zombie attacks and will provide shelter to the public for other reasons as well.