Kangaroos are People Too (Just People with Pouches)

Kangaroos are People Too (Just People with Pouches)
By: Kyle Gudmunson
Kangaroos are awesome. No one can debate this. From their ears down to their monstrous feet, these marsupials’ behaviors and anatomy truly are mind-blowing in every way. What kid wouldn’t want a kangaroo? What parent would wish to deprive their children of a kangaroo? What legislator could vote against any kangaroo-related bill?
Hathaway House Bill 416 is indeed kangaroo related. Author Kiley Miller chose to introduce this piece of legislation that, at first glance, would rock the socks of every Montana citizen.
Trade 100 cows to Australia in exchange for 17 kangaroos! Create the world’s coolest petting zoo, a state treasure and tourist hot spot! Bring joy into the hearts of every citizen!
I have nothing against kangaroos. I have nothing against petting zoos. I love Australian accents and wish wholeheartedly that I had one. But as a citizen concerned for the betterment of the health of kangaroos everywhere, I am outraged at even the suggestion of this bill! Mr. Miller’s idea was a great one, but his idea in line five of section one to hold kangaroo boxing matches every Tuesday is ludicrous! How is this different than dog or cock fighting? Just because kangaroos are cooler and most likely tougher than these animals doesn’t mean that they should be subjected to beating each other to a bloody pulp for the entertainment of humans.
Therefore, I urge everyone to stand up and be a voice for the voiceless. Don’t let the awesomeness of kangaroos overshadow the real underlying message in this bill. Animal cruelty is animal cruelty, regardless of whether or not the animals have pouches.