Senate Floor Debacle

by Nile Gannon

Today a crisis landed on the governor’s desk.  IOCP’s (Indoor and Outdoor Custodial Professionals) launched a statewide rebellion that included urinating in water supplies, toxic waste being dumped in the streets, corruption of judges, taking school children hostage, and disrupting interstate highway travel.  The strangest detail of the rebellion is the ad hoc weapons that the IOCP army has devised, mops fashioned with wolverine claws and bayonets. Even the President of the United States supported temporal bills to address this matter. Governor Monte Cole took immediate and necessary actions by recruiting Senate.  The Senate had less than twenty bills to work on, and there was a lot of hullabaloo about several house bills that somehow made it on the docket.  Monte Cole requested a hearing by the Senate to suggest they deal with the matter in committee by devising laws to handle the IOCP rebellion.

            To enter the Senate, the Governor must be invited by a majority vote.  The Senate denied entrance to the governor on grounds that the emergency was scantly supported.  Unknown to the Governor, they had procured an extra bill to work on. Uprising headed off by Senator Gabe Chilson, who is also running for Governor with Boyd Jenne, persuaded the Senate to deny admittance and suggested impeachment. Chilson continued to interrupt the President of the Senate, Noelani Boise, after her repeated attempts to bring order to the assembly.  After nearly twenty minutes of indecision and debate, the Senate adjourned and Chilson was available for comment.  Calls to impeachment were heard after the governor was finally admitted.  The governor sustained shouting from the right for his ‘behavior.’  Cole stated that impeachment was a long and difficult process that should not be undertaken by the Senate.

            “Slowly the cabinet has become corrupt.  I received a threat from Cabinet member Seamons about a bill that I failed in committee.” The bill in question was bill 210, better known as the Bathroom Bill, or Desegregated bathrooms. In a following interview Seamons denied the note.  The press would also like to point out the unreliability of the page system. Chilson pointed out that evidence in the case had disappeared. The note from Obama was not shown to the Senate and the Governor claimed it was lost.  Chilson also mentioned the ongoing consipriacy of Pam, the Pamelo, as evidence of corruption. 

            President of the Senate, Noelani Boise’s only commented that Chilson’s behavior was unnecessary. 

            In after an interview about his primary win, Chilson stated that impeachment actions against the governor were being retracted by him and his supporters. 

            Once the Senate reconvened, the majority allowed Governor Monte Cole to speak.  Chilson issued an apology to Governor Cole.  On advice by the governor, the senate broke into committee to deal with the crisis situation.

            Chilson and Jenne remain in the gubernatorial race.